July 1, 2024
Accidents happen, we all say. You and your wife or husband and extended family and friends may go for years without a scratch on their fenders. Then Boom! You’re exchanging insurance information with some other driver. Or the experience may be worse, far worse.
We all know about the appalling human cost of auto accidents. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) reported 40,990 traffic deaths in the U.S. in 2023, actually a decrease of about 2,000 from 2022. Beyond fatalities is the litany of further tragedy, serious injuries and costs of medical care for victims, and sometimes years-long trauma.
The economic costs are the next punishment—enormous sums laid out for repairs, some covered by insurance, some not, legal costs, the bickering with insurance, replacements for totaled vehicles. Then the deductibles and rate hikes for people who file insurance claims. And so on.
Twelve years ago Sandy skidded on an icy highway ramp, the car scrunched against the ramp. No injuries, but the car was totaled. Years earlier I collided with another car, no injuries, both vehicles still drivable, but everything else, waiting for the police, a traffic ticket, repairs, higher insurance rates: scary, nerve-wracking, expensive. But you don’t swear off driving. If you live in the suburbs you need your car.
You almost always stay lucky. We grind our teeth at the guy following too close and yell when somebody cuts us off or merges without signaling, but the vast majority of drivers reach their destinations in one piece, day after day. The morning and evening news reports are full of coverage of road “incidents.” Traffic reporting is by itself an industry. But in any community a tiny minority are involved. Rush hour flows slowly, but usually safely.
Even so—everyone has their awkward car story, or sobstory. We pulled into a a Stop ‘N Go to pick up bottled water. I ran in and ran out, climbed back in the passenger’s seat. Sandy backed out. Then the crunch. The parking lot had a slight upgrade. A car parked in a space twenty feet behind us was not clearly visible to her, maybe our rear-view mirror was out of line. But we crunched. She let out a yell and pulled forward. We jumped out.
The woman who owned the other car, a white 2021 Subaru Outback, had just parked and was halfway to the store entrance. She turned and walked towards us. “Oh dear!” she said, or something like that. Sandy was upset. She apologized, and apologized again.
The white-haired lady was pleasant and understanding. “I turned around and thought, is that my car? But it’s not that bad,” she said. “It could happen to anyone.” She and Sandy talked, slowly calming down. “I’m seventy,” she added, for no clear reason.
“I’ve always driven BMWs, but I got this Subaru because it’s supposed to be safe,” she said. “I guess we need to exchange insurance information?” I walked to our car and retrieved our insurance card. She reached into her glove box and rummaged around for hers.
I looked at the rear of the Subaru from ten or so feet away, it looked okay. I got closer. The bumper was scratched, with black marks against the white surface. Looking closer still, the panel next to the bumper above the right rear wheel had separated an inch or two from the body.
From where I stood the rear end of our car also appeared intact, but from closer the right side of the bumper was punched in, the ride side panel pushed slightly out. A tail light was smashed, the red glass in pieces on the ground.
We all recognized what had happened, really not much. The NHTSA doesn’t count this kind of accident. Two vehicles, only one moving, one occupied, the other empty. No complicated circumstances, no rain or fog or alcohol or distracting other traffic. A collision. Not much of a collision. But still.
It was high noon, about 95F. The sun blazed down on us. The lady seemed not to notice the heat. She suddenly reached for her cellphone and said she needed to call her husband. We waited while they talked. “He wants us to call the police,” she said. We shook our heads. “We’re in a store parking lot, they won’t come,” one of us said. She nodded. “My husband Bob is coming, he’s just a few minutes away. He’s eighty.” I nodded, puzzled at that.

We stood, sweating. Ten minutes later Bob drove into the lot. I didn’t know what to expect, but he shook my hand, then looked at the damage and shrugged, as if to ask what’s the big deal.
We took photos of each other’s insurance cards. We were all the same ages or close, we could have been friends. But we waved and drove away. At home I called the insurance company. After waiting on hold for a bit, I was transferred to someone. I scribbled her directions and gave her the other driver’s insurance information.
Later that afternoon an adjuster called and made an appointment for us at a local body shop. “You have a $500 deductible, we pay the rest,” she said. “We’ve reached out to the other driver.”
I thought I could hear in her voice a note of—well, boredom. A back-in to a parked car in a parking lot. Not exactly high drama to an insurance adjuster. As trivial as they get, she probably was thinking.
The damage was bumper work, barely visible, but had to be done. Not traumatic, not life-changing, but our accident, our 12-year-old Volkswagen versus her three-year-old Outback. I guessed the body shop guys would look at our bumper and exchange puzzled looks. They would jump right on repairing the nearly new, stylish Outback.
We’d meet our deductible and hold our breath waiting for the rate increase. Eventually we’d get our car back with the bumper good as new. We’d keep driving it, maybe a bit nervously. We’ll take care to adjust the rear-view mirror, and watch out for white-haired ladies in parking lots.










